📖 Open House
Welcome!
If you are reading this brochure, it is because:
- you want to expand your knowledge,
- you are looking for a career with a future,
- or you took the wrong road.
🌱 Why Choose Us?
✔ More than two centuries of tradition… approximately.
✔ Internationally unknown faculty.
✔ One of the few universities in the world with an Official Mischief Index.
✔ A library with more than 40,000 volumes.
Of which…
39,998 are still not understood.
🎓 Admission Requirements
To enter the Applied Turnipology Program, you must:
☑ Know how to read.
☑ Know how to laugh.
☑ Accept that some questions have no answer.
☑ Never argue with Sister Potato.
This last requirement is non-negotiable.
🥔 Faculty
Sister Potato of Lourdes Foo-Foo
Professor of Potato Wisdom.
Director of the Department of Applied Turnipology
Specialist in:
- Folk wisdom.
- Turnips.
- Various forms of mischief.
- Making you doubt everything with a single sentence.
Ramona
Secretary General.
She does not teach any classes.
But everyone respects her more than the rector.
Gregorius
Logistics Coordinator.
Responsible for:
- Keys.
- Carts.
- Coffee.
- Emotional recovery of the administrative staff.
🌍 Erasmus Program
Available destinations:
🌱 OnionsUp.
🌱 OnionsDown.
🌱 Prymere Castle.
🌱 The Bridge Tavern (practical training only).
💼 Career Opportunities
Our graduates go on to work as:
🥔 Potato Wisdom Advisors.
🌱 Turnipologyts
📜 Unnecessarily Necessary Protocol Writers.
😏 Elegant Mischief Consultants.
🤫 Institutional Silence Specialists.
📞 Contact
📍 Main Campus.
Follow the path.
When you see a turnip…
you are there.
And the fine print, at the bottom of the brochure…
The University of The Attic accepts no responsibility for side effects resulting from the study of Applied Turnipology.
Possible side effects include:
- spontaneous laughter,
- excessive use of the word “depends,”
- a tendency to observe turnips with unjustified respect,
- and the permanent feeling that Sister Potato knows something you still do not know.
