According to Saint Allegro, patron saint of worthy kitchens
📜 First Commandment:
Thou shalt not take the name of Parmesan in vain.
📜 Second Commandment:
Thou shalt never serve a cannelloni without its blanket.
📜 Third Commandment:
Thou shalt honor butter and whole milk every Sunday and holy day.
📜 Fourth Commandment:
Thou shalt not confuse bagged shredded mozzarella with genuine joy.
📜 Fifth Commandment:
Thou shalt not kill risotto with haste or with a metal spoon.
📜 Sixth Commandment:
Thou shalt not commit culinary adultery by adding cream to carbonara.
(This sin carries a three-day sentence without tiramisu and a perpetual look of disapproval.)
📜 Seventh Commandment:
Thou shalt not steal the first piece of lasagna while it is still burning hot.
📜 Eighth Commandment:
Thou shalt not bear false witness by saying, “It’s all cheese anyway.”
(At this point, Allegro leaves the room and refuses to speak to you for two weeks.)
📜 Ninth Commandment:
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor’s casserole, but shalt learn to make a better one.
📜 Tenth Commandment:
Thou shalt never utter the words “pineapple pizza” without asking forgiveness before and after.
—Allegro, you left one out.
—“Impossible.”
—Yes.
—“Which one?”
—The Eleventh.
Allegro turns pale.
—“The Eleventh?”
—“Thou shalt never let Cassanovus into the kitchen unsupervised.”
