On the Migratory Habits of Flapdoodles
(Immediately removed from the archives by express order of Aurelius.)
Abstract
The author of this study devoted several hours to investigating the alleged seasonal movements of flapdoodles.
During the investigation, the following hypotheses were proposed, among others:
That flapdoodles might be a migratory species.
That perhaps they ought to be taken for walks.
That they might enjoy going out for some fresh air.
That they probably travelled in small groups.
After a lengthy scientific discussion…
…the following definitive conclusion was reached:
Flapdoodles are not migratory.
Because they are not a species.
Observations of the Tribunal
During the defence of the thesis, one of the attendees suffered a severe episode of respiratory incapacity caused by a fit of laughter.
For more than twenty minutes, the only comments she was able to utter were:
“PROUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU…”
“They’re not little dogs…”
“They’re not little cats…”
“LITTLE VAGINASSSSSSSSSSS!!”
The author of the thesis stated that she still did not understand the cause of the laughter and continued developing her theory on the seasonal movements of flapdoodles.
Final Ruling
By unanimous decision, the Tribunal resolves to:
Permanently archive the thesis.
Prohibit any further study into the migration of flapdoodles.
Recommend that, before attributing zoological behaviour to any term found in Les Golfes, the librarian first ask what the hell it actually is.
Signed:
📜 Aurelius
(With a very long sigh.)
📖 Gregorius
(Still trying to understand what had just happened.)
🥔 Sor Patata
“I told you so.”
The Directorate confirms that this document is strictly true. Only a few instances of “ENOUGHHHHHHHH” have been omitted for reasons of space.
