Official Attic Gazette
Decree 14/VII on the Protection of Conventual Innocence
Having considered the repeated activities taking place in the cold cellar;
Having reviewed Sister Potato’s prior record;
Having noted that the turnips continue to remain under permanent and inexplicable supervision;
IT IS HEREBY DECREED:
Article 1. Sister Chastity is hereby prohibited from entering the cold cellar.
Article 2. This prohibition shall remain in effect for as long as Sister Potato continues to maintain that she is “merely checking that the turnips are being properly preserved.”
Article 3. Sister Piety shall be the only nun authorized to enter the cold cellar, having been deemed fully immune after years of continuous exposure to the assorted mischievous phenomena occurring therein.
Final Provision
When Mother Patience was asked when this prohibition might be lifted, her official reply was:
“When the turnips no longer require personal supervision.”
Experts consulted unanimously agree that such an eventuality is virtually impossible.
