Official Protocol for the Spontaneous Appearance of a Potato with a Face.
(Internal document of Sister Patata’s Convent. Reading during meals is strictly prohibited.)
Article 1
If a potato stares directly at you…
DO NOT STARE BACK.
The situation could be interpreted as a challenge.
🥔👀
Article 2
If the potato smiles…
back away slowly.
No sudden movements.
Do not sing.
Do not attempt to make mashed potatoes.
Article 3
If the potato says your name…
it is strictly forbidden to answer.
It already knows far too much.
Article 4
If a second potato wearing glasses appears…
leave the premises immediately.
The meeting has already begun.
🥔🥔
Article 5
Never feed a mystical potato after midnight.
Not because anything bad will happen.
It just won’t stop talking.
Final Note from the Convent Archives
“The Order of Sister Patata continues to investigate the events that took place in the pantry during the winter of 1843. Officially, there was never an assembly of tubers. Unofficially… no one has entered the pantry since.”
⚠️ This appendix is entirely unnecessary. That is precisely why it has been preserved for centuries.
