Roots of Wisdom, Branches of the Future.
Onionshire Up & Onionshire Down — Onionshire
Welcome to the University of Onionshire, an academic institution of renowned prestige both within and beyond the lands of Onionshire.
Here, knowledge is passed down from generation to generation, traditions are scrupulously respected, and nobody knows exactly what they are studying until it is far too late.
Our faculties offer highly specialized studies in:
🧅 Onionshire Studies
🌱 Horticultural Studies
📚 Applied Chardology
🏛️ Onionshire History and Heritage
🎨 Historical Chard Arts
🎓 And Other Noble Arts
📜 INAUGURAL COURSE
INTRODUCTION TO ONIONSHIREAN THOUGHT
An introduction to onions, chard, and other matters of relative importance.
Duration: as long as necessary.
Admission requirements: being able to tell an onion from a potato.
Level: surprisingly advanced.
Attendance: recommended, but not guaranteed.
The course will be taught by a select faculty of purple gnomes, all specialists in their respective disciplines.
Among the subjects on the curriculum:
— Onionshirean Grammar I: An Introduction to Onionmurmur
— History of the Onionshire Folk and Other Municipal Entanglements
— Botany Applied to Unnecessary Situations
— Principles of Applied Chardology
— Foundations of Onionshire-Upism and Onionshire-Downism
— Methodology for Knowing What to Do When You Don’t Know What to Do
— Practical Workshop in Onionfiddling and Other Essential Verbs
And, as could not be otherwise, the course will conclude with a final examination:
📝 THE ONION EXAM
Three questions.
One onion.
And absolutely no possibility of appeal.
🎓 University of Onionshire
Wisdom · Humility · Onion 🧅
