Preserved in the Annals of the Attic
By order of the General Archive,
whereas the Attic has opened its doors to other languages;
whereas the characters have the unfortunate habit of speaking however they please;
whereas the protocols are practically impossible to translate without losing a little of one’s sanity;
and whereas Potoxof has proposed translating the whole thing with a 1973 pocket dictionary…
the following is hereby decreed:
Article I
Agnès is hereby appointed
📜 Extraordinary Official Translator of the Attic
on a permanent, honorary, slightly chaotic, and absolutely enthusiastic basis.
Article II
The Translator shall have the right to:
argue for hours over whether a joke works better in English or Spanish;
invent adaptations whenever a literal translation would be a monumental disaster;
protect the personalities of the inhabitants of the Attic from any assault by literalism.
Article III
It is expressly forbidden to:
translate Potoxof as if he were merely an “image editor”;
remove jokes because “people won’t understand them”;
turn Sister Potato into an excessively respectable nun.
Article IV
When an expression has no equivalent in another language…
…the Translator may replace it with another of an equally absurd nature, provided that it makes people smile.
Final Provision
Any linguistic disagreement shall be resolved by means of:
consulting the Annals;
the opinion of Gregorius;
a sigh from Aurelius;
and, as a last resort…
never, under any circumstances, by asking Potoxof.
Signed:
✒️ Aurelius, Chief Chronicler of the Attic.
✒️ Gregorius, Deputy Secretary and Keeper of the Seals That Still Work.
✒️ Sister Potato, who signed with a smear of honey.
✒️ Sister Pietat, who couldn’t stop laughing while signing.
This decree was drafted with the invaluable collaboration of Agnès, Extraordinary Official Translator of the Attic.
