A investigation nobody had requested and that probably would have been better left uninitiated.
DIRECTORATE GENERAL OF APPLIED FRESQUEROLOGY
PRELIMINARY REPORT — INCIDENT 23-C
Disappearance of a cucumber under administratively suspicious circumstances.
📂 LAST SEEN
The community garden of the Enchanted Forest.
Last words heard:
“Such elegant verticality…”
🍷 WITNESSES
Witnesses claim that, minutes before the disappearance, three individuals were singing remarkably out of tune.
Provisionally identified as:
Baldric Barrelbreaker, Fulgentius Potbasher, Roderick Messington, Genis Bottomgrabber
And then Gregorius’s interrogation, with each intervention given its own separate section.
📜 URGENT CIRCULAR
It is hereby prohibited to appoint any vegetable “Honorary Cucumber of the Attics” without the express authorization of the Directorate.
“The Unpresentables do not steal cucumbers… they adopt them.”
📁 CASE STATUS
INCIDENT 23-C
Status: Open
Cucumber: Not located
Unpresentables: Not cooperating
Gregorius: Investigating
Sister Potato: Drafting circulars
Probability of this generating a new Word document: 100%
TO BE CONTINUED…
