Official Hymn of Prudent Ventilation in The Attic
There are matters that simply cannot go without a hymn.
The ventilation of turnips is one of them.
After lengthy deliberations, several annexes, a few disagreements over relative humidity, and an unfortunate intervention by Sister Piety, the Convent officially presents…
Oh humble turnip, with modest skin,
keep the cool with dignity.
Neither too much air, nor window open,
for every excess is recklessness.
Ventilate little, ventilate with measure,
says Sister Potato with devotion.
For a current too mature
causes turnips of confusion.
Gregorius sings, Aurelius prays,
Sister Piety at the Fresquera cries again.
And a parruset, from the cellar,
asks for regulated shade.
Glory to the moderately ventilated turnips!
Glory to well-administered humidity!
May we never lack a prudent fresher,
nor a well-inspired potato!
📜 Notes from the Ventilation Commission
—“Do you think they’ll approve the annexes on relative humidity today?”
Another replies, trembling:
—“I don’t know… but I’ve heard there will be amendments concerning the cucumbers.”
The sisters are reminded that good ventilation prevents many misunderstandings.
Sister Chastity
—Mother Potato… what exactly is delicate humidity?
Sister Potato puts down the knife.
She looks out the window.
She sighs.
—My child… ventilate your cell properly and ask no more questions.
