Musicologist. Researcher. Onionian percussionist. And, according to some witnesses, responsible for making an onion cry without having to cut it.
Professor Sebastina Tympania has devoted much of her career to studying a phenomenon that conventional science has yet to confront:
onions have rhythm.
From the depths of the ancient Onionian archives, Tympania has collected testimonies, impossible sheet music, and various instruments that nobody knows exactly who manufactured.
Her specialty is applied vegetable percussion, a discipline that combines musicology, botany, and a worrying quantity of onions.
According to the professor, each variety of onion has its own frequency.
According to her colleagues, the professor simply hits onions until one of them sounds different.
She rejects these accusations.
And keeps playing.
Boom! Boom! Boom!
Because, as she states in one of her most controversial works:
“If the Onion has a voice, someone will have to play its drums.”
The rest of the scientific community has yet to decide whether this is a revolutionary theory or a cry for help.
