This file remains partially classified.
📂 Restricted File 12-F
Incidents involving turnips, delicate humidity, and unauthorized activities in the cool pantry.
This file remains partially classified.
Several documents were lost.
Others were burned.
And some… are better left unmentioned.
The Department of Applied Freshness Studies confirms only one thing:
“Excessive ventilation also carries risks.”
The remaining information remains in Gregorius’ custody.
End of file.
From time to time, the Ancient Archives issue a certificate to those who have discovered a story where everyone else saw only dust.
If this certificate has found its way into your hands, you are welcome to keep it.
The documents of the Ancient Archives keep their magic only as long as someone continues to imagine.
“Before blowing out the candle, nearly all the novices looked under the bed. The Rule had nothing to say about it.”
📜 Gregorius’ Note
“No document explaining this custom has ever been located. Even so, it continues to be observed with remarkable regularity.”
“Fragment recovered from the East Pantry. It carries a faint scent of boiled potato.
🥔 Sister Patata:
—Girls… some potatoes require a certain touch.
😔 Sister Pietat:
—And some hands simply aren’t ready.
😇 Gregorius:
—Would gloves help?
📜 Aurelius:
—For the love of God…
Official Protocol for the Spontaneous Appearance of a Potato with a Face.
(Internal document of Sister Patata’s Convent. Reading during meals is strictly prohibited.)
If a potato stares directly at you…
DO NOT STARE BACK.
The situation could be interpreted as a challenge.
🥔👀
If the potato smiles…
back away slowly.
No sudden movements.
Do not sing.
Do not attempt to make mashed potatoes.
If the potato says your name…
it is strictly forbidden to answer.
It already knows far too much.
If a second potato wearing glasses appears…
leave the premises immediately.
The meeting has already begun.
🥔🥔
Never feed a mystical potato after midnight.
Not because anything bad will happen.
It just won’t stop talking.
“The Order of Sister Patata continues to investigate the events that took place in the pantry during the winter of 1843. Officially, there was never an assembly of tubers. Unofficially… no one has entered the pantry since.”
⚠️ This appendix is entirely unnecessary. That is precisely why it has been preserved for centuries.
