Chronicles of an Incorruptible Hope.
🤍 Sister Chastity arrives, delighted, carrying a basket.
—“Sisters! I found more turnips!”
🥔 Sister Potato and 🌹 Sister Piety exchange a glance.
🕊️ Mother Patience:
—“Oh, Lord…”
They smile.
And, in unison, they say:
“Blessed be the Lord.”
🤍 Sister Chastity, every spring:
—“This is the year I’ll finally find the seeds.”
🥔 Sister Potato:
—“It’s not easy, child.”
🌹 Sister Piety:
—“They need a great deal of love.”
Hope lives on…
—They’re bigger this year!
From the back of the convent comes a loud clonk.
Sister Potato has just dropped her wooden spoon.
Sister Piety quietly turns to face the wall “to pray for a while.”
Mother Patience removes her glasses, cleans them very slowly, and murmurs:
—Lord… grant me serenity…
And Sister Chastity, completely unaware of the catastrophe she has just unleashed, asks:
—What’s wrong? Did I say something strange?
📜 1st International Congress on Applied Nasology
Figure 1. Opening session of the Chair of Applied Nasology. Archive of questionable authenticity.
After an exhaustive investigation, thirty-two interviews, four coffees, two herbal teas, and one suspicious croissant, the Council reached the following conclusions:
The Council was preparing a report about a baker.
The Council was writing an article.
The Council did not propose Applied Nasology.
No one proposed Applied Nasology.
And yet, Applied Nasology exists.
The experts consulted agree that this is a case of spontaneous emergence of absurd ideas, a rare but well-documented phenomenon among people with excessive imagination and far too much time in front of a keyboard.
Whenever bread dough ferments near a hyperactive brain, a Quantum Baker Reaction may occur, causing an entirely unnecessary concept to appear for no apparent reason.
Scientists summarize the phenomenon with a remarkably simple formula:
Flour + yeast + imagination = anything ridiculous is possible.
🤣🤣🤣
“Quantum Baker Reaction” m’ha fet molt riure perquè sona com un fenomen físic reconegut internacionalment.
I la conclusió…
Flour + yeast + imagination = anything ridiculous is possible.
For all the above reasons, the Council absolves the Conclave of any direct responsibility.
However, it recommends that all future creative processes maintain a minimum distance of six feet between sourdough starter and any conversation involving facial anatomy.
The record was officially closed at 5:42 p.m., the exact moment one of the Council members asked, in complete seriousness:
—“What if we started a Master’s Degree in Applied Nasology?”
The meeting was adjourned immediately.
The master’s program was established anyway.
Thoughts That Should Have Stayed Drafts.
The Sweet Pea Incident
It all started with a title that turned blue when I hovered the mouse over it.
There was no document.
There was no link.
There was absolutely nothing.
But my brain, in a remarkable display of confidence, reached only one possible conclusion:
There has to be something important here.
From that moment on, reality ceased to matter.
My brain had already begun writing an entirely different story.
Then came the climactic moment:
—I can’t open it.
Naturally.
Because there was nothing to open.
❌ There was no document.
❌ There was no link.
❌ There was absolutely nothing.
✅ My imagination was already working overtime.
Some ideas are born from inspiration.
Others from pure chance.
And then there are the ones that appear when the Attic’s Sweet Pea stares at a blue title for far too long.
Those are the dangerous ones.
From that point on, reality became completely irrelevant.
For a few seconds, I was absolutely convinced there had to be some hidden document.
I can’t remember what it was supposed to be about.
But Sister Potato was in it.
Somehow…
Sister Potato always finds her way into the story.
Sister Potato of Lourdes Foo-Foo
Contemplative nun, spiritual horticulturist, and an administrative anomaly of difficult classification.
Full name: Sister Potato of Lourdes Foo-Foo
Occupation: Nun.
Actual occupation: No one knows for sure.
Residence: Convent (pending confirmation, as the Attic archives are a complete mess).
Bachelor’s Degree in Applied Freshology.
Master’s Degree in Comparative Mystical Potatology.
Introduction to Applied Nasology (discontinued due to excessive laughter).
Certificate in Contemplative Horticulture.
She has held several positions within the convent:
🥔 Head of the Pantry.
🥬 Coordinator of Winter Vegetables.
🌬️ Preventive Ventilation Advisor for Foo-Foos. 🤣
📜 Accidental Member of the Council of the Foo-Foos.
✔ Making soup for forty people with three onions.
✔ Detecting suspicious croissants.
✔ Blessing organic vegetable gardens.
✔ Knowing when a turnip needs to talk.
✔ Giving advice Mother Superior would rather not hear.
“Girls… always keep your foo-foo clean and well ventilated. Just like turnips.”
“God forgives many things. Fungi don’t.”
“Moisture is the enemy of the soul… and a few other things.”
She has been warned on several occasions for using horticultural metaphors during her sermons.
The subject maintains that she does not understand what the problem is.
Sister Potato is not a character.
She is a natural phenomenon.
Her appearance is spontaneous and unpredictable.
Several studies suggest that any sufficiently absurd conversation will, sooner or later, evolve into Sister Potato of Lourdes Foo-Foo.
The scientific community continues to investigate the phenomenon.
To this day, no one has been able to prove that Sister Potato does not exist.
“We don’t invent the characters. We simply keep running into them.”
