Blog - lesgolfesdeleshistories.com

SISTER CHASTITY

The Official Convent Sweet Pea

She always asks with complete innocence:

—Mother Patience… what exactly is the Fresh Room?

Silence.

The other sisters stare at the floor.

Gregorius turns bright red.

Aurelius stops writing.

Sister Piety begins laughing under her breath.

And Sister Potato says:

—Oh, child… you really don’t want to go down there. It’s hard to come back up afterward.

—But… what do you keep there?

Sister Piety is already crying with laughter.

Mother Patience buries her face in one hand.

Gregorius goes outside to gather firewood simply to avoid hearing the rest of the conversation.

And Aurelius writes:

📜 OFFICIAL RECORD 412-A

“For the fourth time this week, Sister Chastity has asked what is kept in the Fresh Room. The Council recommends changing the subject immediately.”

—Just a little peek…

—Can I look in from the doorway?

—Are there shelves?

—Is it very cold?

Sister Potato, with complete seriousness:

—Child… there are some things it’s better not to disturb.

—Like onions?

Mother Patience:

“SISTERS!! TO PRAYER, NOW!!”

04/08/2026

📜 OFFICIAL RECORD 427-C

Sister Piety is hereby forbidden from explaining to pilgrims why potatoes must be planted deep “to preserve their privacy.”

04/08/2026

📜 OFFICIAL RECORD 428-D

📜 Preventive Measures Following the Creative Reactivation of the Author and Her Adventures and disasters Companion

Following several emergency meetings, the Council unanimously resolved to:

• Secure the Fresh Room.

• Secure the potatoes.

• Keep the turnips under lock and key.

• Remove any official document likely to become a new story.

The decision was made after Sister Chastity asked, for the fifth time that week:

—“But… can I just take a little look?”

The Council considers the risk unacceptably high.

According to Aurelius, every innocent conversation started by Sister Chastity inevitably ends with Sister Potato making agricultural metaphors, Sister Piety trying not to laugh, and Gregorius apologizing to people who still have no idea what has happened.

Mother Patience has requested that security measures be reinforced.

The Fresh Room will remain closed until further notice.

There is no indication that Sister Chastity understands why.

In fact, the last time she was seen, she was simply asking:

—“But… if the potatoes are so peaceful… why are they hiding?”

The meeting is adjourned.

Aurelius continues writing.

Gregorius continues sighing.

And Sister Potato continues insisting that:

“Well-ventilated turnips require less work.”

Official Seal of the Council of the Attic

“Reality is already complicated enough. We simply add characters.”

Extraordinary measures adopted by the Council following the fourth spontaneous attempt to visit the Fresh Room.

Photographic Archive of the Convent.

Year unknown.

The exact reasons for the closure remain classified.

04/08/2026

📜 OFFICIAL RECORD 430-A

📜 Official Authorization for Temporary Retreat to an Island in the North Pole

The Council considers that, at this point, a blanket and an ice pack have become a matter of public health.

Photographic archive recovered after the author’s temporary disappearance. The island remains classified. Gregorius sends coffee once a week.

04/08/2026

📜 OFFICIAL RECORD 431-C

📜 The Case of the Miraculous Ice Pack

📜 Comparative File

Figure 1

Condition observed after the application of an ice pack.

Documented side effects include:

• Spontaneous rejuvenation.

• Scandinavian-goddess hair.

• Cinematic lighting.

• Temporary loss of critical judgment by Photoshop.

The scientific community is still investigating.

Researchers’ Note

It has not yet been determined whether the observed effects were caused by the ice pack or by Photoshop’s mood after being scolded the previous day.

Clinical trials are ongoing.

THIS IS THE IMPORTANT PART.

Because there’s a big difference between:

“I have a migraine.”

And:

“I have a migraine, but I suddenly look thirty years younger and appear to have walked straight out of a Nordic fantasy film.”

Gregorius, ever cautious, tried to point it out:

—Perhaps the author simply needs some rest.

Photoshop:

—Sure… and while we’re at it, let’s remove three decades, give her Scandinavian-goddess eyelashes, and throw in some full-moon lighting.

Aurelius attempted to object:

—But that isn’t faithful to reality…

Photoshop:

—QUIET, AURELIUS! I’M STILL MAD ABOUT YESTERDAY!

Sister Piety was already crying with laughter.

—Girls… I want one of those migraines too!

Sister Chastity asked:

—Mother Patience… if I put a bag of frozen peas on my head, will I get blue hair and be twenty-eight years younger?

Without even looking up, Mother Patience replied:

—No, my child.

—You’ll catch a cold.

Gregorius sighed.

Aurelius refused to sign the report.

Photoshop continued pretending nothing had happened.

And Sister Potato of Lourdes Foo-Foo, studying the portrait with great respect, concluded:

“Girls… cold preserves things.
Just look at potatoes.”

Addendum 431-C

Due to a shortage of volunteers, the researchers have been forced to continue the trials using the same author.

The patient has raised no objections, as she still believes looking thirty years younger is a highly promising field of research.

Gregorius requested that this not be entered into the official record.

He was ignored.

04/08/2026