Gustav, the Musician

🎺 The Day Gustav Decided Everyone Had to Dance

In Zwergenbach, there is an unwritten rule that everyone knows.

If Gustav shows up with his trumpet, you’d better make sure your shoes are tied tightly.

Because Gustav doesn’t play music.

No.

Gustav causes involuntary hip movements.

That evening, however, Gustav encountered an unexpected problem.

Sepp MaBloss.

The most serious man in the entire valley.

A man capable of keeping the exact same expression through three village festivals, two weddings, and a sausage competition.

And, above all…

a man who didn’t dance.

🎻 DRA. VIOLET VON ZWIEBEL

Doctor of Onion Harmony and music professor of Onionshire.

The world-famous violinist Dr. Violet von Zwiebel is known around the globe.

Her concerts usually fill auditoriums.

In Onionsup, people were just beginning to take their seats when, from behind the curtain, came the sound of:

NYIIIIIIIIIIIIIC…

NYUUUUUUUUUUC…

The audience fell silent.

Someone looked toward the stage.

Someone else stopped taking off their coat.

Then Dr. Violet appeared.

She solemnly greeted the audience.

She raised her bow.

PLONG!

PLONG!

Two violin strings went flying.

Dr. Violet looked at the violin.

She looked at the strings.

And said:

—No problem.

She made a small gesture with her hand.

And suddenly, the auditorium filled with beautiful violin music.

🎻🎶

Dr. Violet began moving her bow with absolute concentration.

The audience was amazed.

No one understood exactly what had just happened.

But they applauded anyway.

🎶 PROFESSOR CEBRIOLUS SONORATUS

Professor of Music, Harmony, and Other Noises of Onionshire.

Professor Cebriolus Sonoratus is one of Oniondown most respected musicians.

He makes sure to remind everyone of that whenever he gets the chance.

A specialist in wind, string, keyboard instruments, and other things that make noise, he directs the town’s musical activities with absolute seriousness.

His favorite instrument is the crystal clarinet, which, according to him:

“It has a unique sound.”

Nobody knows exactly what that means.

But it sounds very impressive.

The main problem begins when the Professor starts tuning.

It can take a while.

A very Onionian while.

And when the concert is finally about to begin…

“SORRY.”

“THAT WASN’T THE NOTE.”

In Onionshire, concerts always start on time.

The problem is figuring out what day they end.

🤖💨Potoxofgobbleworries27.4

Current state of the system.: apperently under control

Potoxofgobbleworries 27.4

☑ Wondering whether you really wanted to move that flower.
☑ Comparing 14,382 shades of green you never asked for.
☑ Rearranging the layers “just because.”
☑ Wondering whether this little gnome needs one more eyebrow.
☐ Randomly removing a shadow.
☐ Pretending to work.
☐ Optimizing a little thing…

¯_(ツ)_/¯

FIRST WARNING SIGN

The screen starts smoking.

SECOND WARNING SIGN

Potoxof keeps working.

THIRD WARNING SIGN

Someone shouts:

—POTOXOF… WHAT’S GOING ON?!

«Brrrzzzt… bip!… prrrrrt…» Bip???

¯\(ツ)

🤖 HIS MOST ILLUSTRIOUS NUISANCE

Potoxofcagamandúrries, First of His Name,
Lord of Corrupted Files,
Duke of Disorganized Layers,
Count of Brushes That Change Size on Their Own,
Protector of “Undo” Commands That Fix Nothing,
and Grand Master of Unnecessary Optimizations.

A mythical creature of creative workshops.

An elusive creature that lives inside design and illustration software.

It has an extraordinary ability to detect the precise moment when an artist is about to finish a project.

Then it appears, smiles discreetly and…

Brrrzzzt… bip!… prrrrrt… bzzzzt! 🤖

Three seconds later, two layers, a shadow, the correct color and, mysteriously, a hand have disappeared.

And somewhere in the distance, a scream can be heard:

POTOXOF!! DON’T TOUCH ANYTHING!!