“The cucumber knows.”
sacred text ii
SACRED TEXT I
“The cucumber observes in silence.”
— Fragment found behind the Sacred Fridge.
🍺 WIRTIN
At the Zwergenbach tavern, there is one very simple rule:
Wirtin is always right.
If she says there is still beer left, there is still beer left.
If she says you’ve had enough to drink…
she’s probably right about that too. 😂🍺
Today, the tavern is ready for Oktoberfest.
And so is Wirtin.
May God have mercy on anyone who thinks about placing a complicated order. 🤣
👑🏘️ FRIEDRICH, MAYOR OF ZWERGENBACH
Today, Friedrich, the mayor of Zwergenbach, has put on his finest clothes to head to the festival.
As every year, Oktoberfest is about to begin, and he has one of the most important jobs of the day: giving the opening speech.
Then, time to have some fun!
Well… if everything goes according to plan.
—Heyyy! What’s going on, Hans?
—What a disaster, Mayor… the sausage truck never arrived!
—What??? That can’t be! Did they call???
—No, Mayor…
—Oh, boy… my wife is going to kill me...
🍺👯 BUT… WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
Before the music, the sausages, and the beer arrive, there’s one question someone really should have asked a long time ago:
Who let this bunch organize the Oktoberfest?
Nobody knows.
Nobody wants to take responsibility.
And, frankly, at this point, it’s already too late.
There are some very respectable people in Zwergenbach.
There are also some who look respectable.
We have farmers, tavern keepers, musicians, grandmothers, villagers, visitors… and the occasional individual who we still haven’t quite figured out, but who always seems to appear whenever there’s food.
They all have a story.
Some of them have too many.
And today, we’re going to introduce them to you before they start drinking and there’s no way of figuring out what happened. 🍺🥨
Welcome to Zwergenbach!
And may God help us all. 😂🍺
